After Ten Years.
A desolate night, with never a star,1
Black clouds scudding athwart the sky,2
One lurid gleam from the tower afar—3
The sea-gulls moaning a piteous cry.4
’Tis little changed—aye, the same old town :5
The fishers’ huts on the sandy beach—6
The rambling streets with their houses brown,7
O’erlooking the sea, and the breakers’ speech.8
Ten long years, and I stand here again,9
Just where we parted so long ago—10
Ten long years of sorrow and pain,11
Torturing fear and maddening woe :12
Days of heaviness—nights of unrest—13
Moments that glided but drearily,14
They put my soul to a terrible test,15
When they tore my darling away from me !16
I’ve wandered the wide world up and down,17
Dwelt in far cities, and sailed over seas—18
Gone are those visions of boyish renown,19
Ambition, and love, and dreamful ease.20
What ghost of the past has led me back21
To these shores again ?— what troubled wraith ?22
Too well I divine what my life doth lack—23
God pity the heart that longs for death !24
Here, through the chill of the pitiless night,25
With the salt mists playing about my face,26
I steal, like a convict, afraid of the light—27
Why should I shrink, like a coward base ?28
This was my crime—I was poor and unknown29
“ No fitting lover for such as she,”30
They sneeringly said—’twas this alone—31
And sought to poison her heart to me.32
We parted at last—’twas a bitter day—33
Lips !— can I trust ye to utter her name ?—34
I sailed, broken-hearted, adown the bay—35
Well, the world has never looked just the same.36
I have grown bitter, and silent, and cold,37
I who was heartsome, and merry, and gay ;38
As like to the fanciful boy of old,39
As the black night is to the golden day !40
Dear heart, but yours was the bitterer fate !41
Your sad eyes haunted me night and day—42
What can a woman but grieve and wait,43
And weep her sorrowful life away ?44
Oh, you watched through sunshine and watched thro’ rain ;45
Oh, you waited so long alone with the past :46
No wonder the moments, so heavy with pain,47
Have rifled your heart of its life at last !48
I’ve been roaming since in far, strange lands,49
Where the tropical sun shines fiercely hot ;50
I’ve tarried briefly on golden strands,51
Seeking forgetfulness, finding it not.52
Midnight and darkness—I wait here alone,53
By the fishers’ huts on the sandy shore ;54
No sound save the sea-bird’s wailing moan,55
With the winds’ and wild waves’ thunderous roar—56
And the lost hope, deadened for ever more.57