The Candidate’s Garland.
An Excellent New Song.
Air— “ Croppies lie down.”
1.
Ye candidates claiming to serve the good cause1
Of religion and liberty, order and laws !2
Where’er on the hustings the foe you may face,3
Lay it into him well, till he bellows for grace.4
I can teach you some tricks to crack Whiggery’s crown,5
And to make all Repealers and Chartists lie down.6
Singing down, down, Radicals, down !7
2.
If “ Tory disloyalty” furnish the cry,8
First simply assert that the charge is a lie.9
Then suggest that some folks have more profit than praise,10
Paying court to the sun while they bask in his rays.11
But demand where’s the party, since parties were made,12
So true as the Tories when left in the shade.13
Singing down, down, courtiers lie down !14
3.
If this isn’t sufficient to silence their jaw,15
Keep rubbing their hide till you come to the raw :16
Hint at Denman and Brough’m, at the Duke and the Prince,17
And you’ll soon make the jade’s ugly withers to wince ;18
You may lastly allude to a speech by old Coke—19
I forget his new title—then see how they’ll look.20
Singing down, down, libellers, down !21
4.
On the Canadas next you may largely dilate,22
In extent so prodigious, in value so great :23
Such an outlet for industry—idle at home—24
Such a fountain of commerce through ages to come.25
Whether traitor or trimmer, confusion to him26
Who would cripple the realm in so goodly a limb !27
Singing down, down, rebels lie down !28
5.
If firebrands or fools of self-government
speak,29
Say, ’tis nonsense and knavery all that they seek.30
Ere they set the child free from the mother’s command,31
Bid them try the experiment nearer at hand.32
Oh ! what pranks would the imps in our nurseries play,33
If declared their own masters for even a day.34
Singing down, down, younkers lie down !35
6.
At the Corn-Laws, though now rather musty and stale,36
If some flow’ry Whig orator chooses to rail,37
Don’t be you mealy-mouthed, give him prices and freight,38
And just press him to death on the subject of weight.39
If you question him close, you’ll soon carry the laugh,40
And leave few that will barter their corn for his chaff.41
Singing down, down, humbugs lie down !42
7.
Then present this dilemma, with horns, a good pair,43
Such as often the Stot has in vain wish’d to wear.44
When prices decline, pray, will wages fall too ?45
(We’ve an answer in petto to meet either view :)46
If they
won’t, what relief will the masters have then ?47
If they
will, what the mischief becomes of the men ?48
Singing down, down, disputants, down !49
8.
Enquire as to Ireland,—Beneath the Whig reign50
Is reason returning ?— is crime on the wane ?51
See, the Arch-agitator still rampant we find,52
Mendicity still with mendacity join’d ;53
While Augean pollution fast poisons the scene,54
Such as Stanley—or Hercules—only could clean,55
Singing down, down, perjury, down !56
9.
A word to the Chartists before my song ends ;57
Of the Whigs or the Tories, say which are their friends ?58
Those who help them in patience and peace to endure59
What princes and parliaments never can cure ?—60
Or the tricksters who sell them sedition for food,61
And, first fanning the fire, then would quench it in blood ?62
Singing down, down, Democrats, down !63
10.
If you borrow these lessons from Christopher’s school,64
The result, my good friends, may be left to old Bull ;65
Even Peggy and Pat, their newfangledness past,66
Will awake to some calmer conclusions at last ;67
But be that as it may, ere the twelve months are out,68
You’ll see Peel back in power and the Whigs up the spout.69
Singing down, down, Whiggery, down !70