The Life-Assurance Agent’s Appeal.

TuneAlly Croker .

Come now, my friend, and do not stare,1
But listen to my strain a bit ;2
I wish to make you just aware3
Of something for your benefit :4
As yet, you say, upon your life5
You have not got a policy ;6
’Tis downright treason to your wife ;7
I wish you would your folly see,8
And think of life-insurance,9
The uses of insurance ;10
O think of the uncertainty11
Of life and health’s endurance !12
Our office is for soundness known,13
The Steadfast Perpendicular ; 14
And when you would be choosing one,15
You can’t be too particular.16
Our ’c umulated fund appears17
Increasing at a steady rate ;18
A bonus every seven years,19
And yet our premiums moderate.20
Then think upon insurance,21
The use of life-insurance ;22
Remember the uncertainty23
Of life and health’s endurance !24
You’re twenty-seven next birthday ;25
You ne’er had epilepsy, sir,26
Insanity, gout, hernia,27
Consumption, or dyspepsy, sir.28
Your medical attendant says,29
You’re come of healthy parentage ;30
You’re lived in Britain all your days,31
And are of your apparent age :32
Then oh, my friend, insurance,33
Think, think of life-insurance ;34
O think of the uncertainty35
Of life and health’s endurance !36
Your present state of health is good,37
With healthy occupation, sir ;38
Your well-formed bellows-chest has stood39
The doctor’s auscultation, sir ;40
No hazard in your way of life ;41
You’re neither lag nor cripple, sir ;42
Last year you took yourself a wife,43
But have not ta’en to tipple, sir ;44
A model for insurance,45
Most fit for life-insurance ;46
Oh, if you’ll not cast in your lot,47
You’ll vex me past endurance !48
Pray, don’t forget, though healthy yet,49
You’re subject to mortality ;50
The life of man we only can51
Foretell in the totality.52
The first year’s premium being paid,53
You may demise to-morrow, sir,54
And then your widow will not need55
To either beg or borrow, sir :56
She’s saved by life-insurance,57
By noble life-insurance ;58
She’s clad and fed by what you did59
While life had still endurance.60
But say you’ve got a policy,61
Or even more than one of ’e m,62
You may another take with me63
You’ll thrive beneath a ton of ’e m !64
One ought to add a thousand pounds,65
Each new responsibility ;66
It is a duty has no bounds,67
Save just a man’s ability :68
Then oh, once more, insurance,69
Think well of life-insurance ;70
Remember the uncertainty71
Of life and health ’s endurance !72
Long, long ago there was a cove,73
Who called himself knight-errant, sir,74
Who, as the Ladies’ Friend, did rove,75
Protecting them from Tyrant, sir ;76
But, ladies, I’m your best friend now,77
As good as any lover t’ ye,78
For all my object’s to endow,79
And save you, dears, from Poverty :80
Then oh, my dears, insurance,81
Cry loud for life-insurance :82
If husbands not cast in their lot,83
Declare them past endurance !84