Rhymes for “ Alley !”
May Republicans all sing—1
Lawyer Alley ! (shilly-shally !)2
With thy fame may all worlds ring,3
Wondrous Alley, universally !4
All applaud the heroic deeds5
Of this mighty Counsellor Alley,6
For the Stamp Office who pleads7
Perpetually, energetic Alley !8
Did not Alley, at Hickes’s Hall,9
(Most polite, and politic Alley !)10
Us “ audacious ruffians” call ?11
Whiggish Alley ! waggish Alley !12
Would he say what is untrue ?13
Virtuous Alley ! virtually—14
Much more honest, than any Jew15
Famed for stock-jobbing in Change Alley.16
“ Stamps” he calls “ the pillars of the State !”17
(Dogmatically hyperbolic Alley !)18
May no Sampson, heedless of their weight,19
Overthrow them, with thee, Alley !20
Never is Alley of intellect afraid !21
Candid Alley ! (Jesuitically !)22
Yet our letters would he retrograde,23
Rabbi Alley, hebraically !24
Alley, on the press, a gag would tie,25
As was tied on the mouth of Lally,26
When unjustly he was doom’d to die ;27
So may not thou be, ill-paid Alley !28
Thou, at last, wilt prove an honest man !29
(Hireling Alley ?— Denman’s valet ?)30
And thou’lt die a stern Republican,31
Like the hapless General Malet !32
Printers’ devils shall chaunt thy dirge,33
Censor Alley ! (diabolically ?)34
For thou would’st our journals purge,35
Doctor Alley ! (medicinally ?)36
Skilful, too, in Almanacs,37
Astronomically great as Halley !)38
Sun, moon, and stars thou wouldst tax,39
Lest we should keep thy birth-day, Alley !40
Alley says he loves Reform ?41
(Cistatag Alley ! experimentally ?)42
Yet at Freedom does he storm,43
Would she cure us radically.44
Freedom was surprised to find45
An ally in Tory Alley :46
Alley is always to interest blind !47
Generous Alley ! prodigally !48
When Republicans prevail,49
Valorous Alley forth will sally—50
With wig and gown—ready to assail51
All, ate to Royal standards rally !52
Then will he let, in ample range,53
Politics with Printing dally :54
For may not he his opinions change55
(Fadladeen Alley !) accidentally ?56
Partizan of popular power,57
Gracchus Alley, pragmatically—58
Shall declaim, for many an hour,59
At those who talk sophistically !60
Fury, no more, for argument,61
On us Rads, shall come from Alley ;62
He will say : our good he meant63
(Not our goods ?) philanthropically !64
Has he turn’d round ?— or stood his ground !65
Weather-cock Alley !— Stoic Alley !66
Will his new doctrines all be found67
With his former ones to tally ?68
Much can he hope the people to please,69
Paradoxically patriotic Alley !70
O may they never send across the seas71
Turn-coat Alley, in a galley !72
We should weep, were such thy fate,73
Critically Liberal
Alley !74
We must forgive thy present hate,75
And all love thee, enthusiastically !76
Colley and Curric love thee now,77
Charming Alley, impartially !78
Would their love avail thee in a row,79
Popular Alley, beneficially ?80
Alley is a spirit far above proof,81
“ Highest legal” “ Cream of the Valley ;”82
But yet Alley must keep aloof,83
When we drink politically.84
Brandish, quick, thy double eye glass !85
Bluster and splatter ! (tilley-valley !)86
Soon from the men will influence pass,87
Who now pay thee, Stamp-Office Alley.88
Ravens emulate thy voice,89
Cawing “ Alley” melancholically ;90
And, with them, the frogs rejoice,91
Croaking “ Alley” most musically !92
Bully Adolphus is thy compeer,93
( “ Arcades ambo !” ) sympathetically !94
Ill words ne’er from either do we hear :95
Meek is Adolphus, sentimental Alley.96
At the Middlesex Sessions House,97
Rhetorically privileged Alley—98
Would, about Stamps, be mute as a mouse,99
Could he see at all prophetically :100
Long has he raved, in Clerkenwell,101
For those brand-marks ! longer
shall he ?102
Would he sink with them to—shall I tell—103
Fiery Alley ?— Farewell, Alley !104