Mr. Bull’s Song. The Sly Little Man

There’s a sly little man that lives over the way,1

Who always has something quite civil to say :2

Yet he looks at my house, from his own, with an eye3

That says, “ I perhaps may look in by-and-by :”4

So I think my best plan
With the sly little man
Is to make all the premises safe, if I can.

I have not the least doubt he would think it no sin,8

Any night that he thought me asleep, to “ look in ;”9

There’s “ the old pewter spoons,” and “ the old tankard ” too,10

And the sword o’er the mantelpiece, marked “ Waterloo ”—11

And it’s clearly the plan
Of the sly little man
To take them all from me—whenever he can.

So my doors and my windows I’ve bolted and barr’d,15

And the truest of watch-dogs takes care of the Yard—16

A watch-dog of whom I, his master, will say,17

“ Woe betide the house-breaker that comes in his way ! ”18

For really the plan
Of the sly little man
Is one I must foil if I possibly can.

No doubt he will say, as in fact he has said,22

“ What fancy is this that’s come into your head ?23

Your House once was open ; it surely can’t be24

That all this is meant for a kind friend like me ? ”25

But then it’s the plan
Of the sly little man ;
To deal much in blarney wherever he can.

There’s one of the Scullions, a fellow in drab,29

An impudent tyke, with the gift of the gab,30

Who often will say, “ Is it not a hard case31

That our door should be shut in the gentleman’s face ?32

’Twould be far the best plan
To trust to the man—
No fear of our losing a pot or a pan !”

But the views of the Scullion I own are not mine,36

And still to the bolts and the bars I incline ;37

Nay, I should not much care if my neighbours all knew38

That I’ve lately been getting a rifle or two ;39

That’s my simple plan
With the sly little man ;
And so, he may now take the spoons—if he can.

Digital Victorian Periodical Poetry