The Tailor’s Wife.

The Tailor’s wife ! avaunt, ye peaceful few ;1
Her voice will pierce your very temples through ;2
The Tailor’s wife ! these words, of direful sound,3
Spread consternation through the village round4
Awake the drum, arouse the trumpet’s blare,5
And shake with dissonance the startled air.6
Let asses bray—attack the swelling gong,7
And pour a tempest through my maddened song !8
The Tailor’s wife, in wild tornado, comes !9
Mute are the trumpets, silent are the drums ; 10
On zephyr wings the eastern music floats,11
And asses bray through more melodious throats.12
She comes ! she treads ! in all her furious sway ;13
The dogs run backwards to accede her way ;14
The solid earth, beneath her sounding feet,15
With inward palpitation seems to beat.16
Now, woe to thee, O less than mortal wight !17
Scarce ninth-part “ Man,” in such a woeful plight,18
What can avail thee now, thy wonted jeers,19
That cut with all the keenness of thy shears20
Thy mirth-provoking, rage-allaying wit ?—21
These qualities, alas ! avail thee not.22
In vain thy throne of more than Turkish pride,23
The sceptre Lap-board resting at thy side ;24
Thy primate Goose, by public zeal inspired,25
Against thine enemies to fury fired ;26
Thy needle Ministers, of sharpest steel,27
That stitch the garments of the commonweal ;28
Thy life-guard Prentices, that speak thy power29
Avail thee nothing in this trying hour.30
The storm drives onward with increasing force,31
Nor may’st thou brook its brunt, nor stem its course ;32
Down on thy knees, ask pardon, Snip, and tell33
The sovereign sway of all-subduing “ Bell ;”34
And to each mated lord a lesson give,35
How he in harmony and peace may live,36
Avert the tear of injured pride, and prove37
The unresisting tool of wedded love.38
Oh, dared the poet half his mind explain,39
What arts are used a husband to retain40
In bondage. With what woe and wail,41
What fume, fret, sulk, our fortress they assail,42
How they will scold—and should we silence keep,43
For very rage, how they will sob and weep44
Misfortunes father on our heads, and see45
With after-thought, unto futurity ;46
Instruct us of our danger when ’tis o’er,47
Affirm they prophesied it all before ;48
For God knows what, how they will threap and thraw,49
Forget the subject, false conclusions draw ;50
Then lord it o’er us, with a mighty air,51
And scarcely grant us, in our home, a chair.52
Oh, dared he thus the wedded dames to brave,53
What power could cover, what repentance save ;54
And He who penned the treasonable lay,55
Might ne’er forget it till his dying day !56