A Botany Bay Eclogue.

O gallant Sir James is come out of the North,1
Through all that wild region his fame had gone forth ;2
Yet, save the Vice-Chancellor, friend he had none ;3
He came all unask’d, and he came all alone. 4
So daring in heart, and so dauntless in pith,5
There ne’er was Professor like President Smith.6
He staid not for frown, and he stopp’d not for groan ;7
He put in his clamour where claim had none ;8
But e’er he arriv’d at a Lecturer’s state,9
The tutors conspir’d—and the lectures came late.10
For a churchman, God wot ! and a botanist too,11
Was to sit in the chair that Sir James had in view.12
In a rage, then, he stalk’d into College and Hall,13
Among Bedmakers, Bachelors, Doctors, and all ;14
Then spoke Mr Marsh in a civilish way,15
(For some of the Tutors had little to say),16
O come ye in peace here, or come ye in war,17
Or to dine with the Fellows, or—what come ye for ?”18
I long wish’d to lecture, my suit you denied,19
I know you’d have lik’d them, if once you had tried ;20
And now am I come with this Pamphlet of mine,21
To try a last measure—then leave you to pine ;22
There are students in London more civil by far,23
That would gladly have welcom’d so brilliant a * star.”24
Sir James shew’d his Pamphlet, and Monk read it through ;25
He gulp’d the hard bits, but he saw ’twould not do ;26
He look’d down to laugh, and pretended to sigh,27
With a smile on his lip, and a sneer in his eye.28
Then down comes the rogue with an “ Answer” forthwith29
This is dealing hard measure !” says President Smith.30
So stately the tone, and so lovely the print,31
Even Freshmen conceiv’d there must something be in’t.32
While Socinians did fret, and Professors did clap,33
And Webb tore the tassel that deck’d his new cap ;34
And Reviewers did whisper, “ ’T’were better by far35
To have match’d your brave Knight in some gooseberry war.”36
A hint such as this had just rung in his ear,37
When he reached the stage-coach,† and the coachman stood near ;38
So light to the box that tight coachman he sprung,39
So snugly the reins o’er the dickey were flung40
We are off! we are off ! over bank and o’er hill,41
Your Pamphlet may follow,” cried James, “ if it will.”42
There is quizzing ’mong wags of the Trinity clan :43
King’s, Queen’s men, and Johnians, they all laugh that can ;44
There is joking and smoking in Norwich citiè,45
But the lost Knight of Botany ne’er do we see,46
—So daring in heart, and so dauntless in pith :47
Was there e’er such a callant as President Smith ?48

* This luminary is not a fixed star, but a comet having taken “ a free and lofty range
in the world at large.” Vid. his Pamphlet.
† The cheap—and—nasty.