O If my love offended me1
And we had words together,2
To show her I would master be3
I’d whip her with a feather !4
If then she, like a naughty girl,5
Would tyranny declare it,6
I’d give my love a cross of pearl7
And make her always bear it !8
If still she tried to sulk and sigh,9
And threw away my posies,10
I’d catch my darling on the sly11
And smother her with roses !12
But should she clench her dimpled fists,13
Or contradict her betters,14
I’d manacle her tiny wrists15
With dainty golden fetters !16
And if she dared her lips to pout,17
Like many pert young misses,18
I’d wind my arm her waist about19
And punish her with kisses !20