The Fatal Advertisements.
From all the sphere of Mars they pressed,1
The wonder to inspect—2
A telescope, the mightiest3
A planet could erect.4
And the two chief astronomers5
Controlled the huge machine,6
And first of all the universe7
They sought our orb terrene.8
Possessed of water, warmth, and air,9
Our planet they could show ;10
But who enjoyed these blessings there11
Was what they wished to know.12
And had the sphere whereon they gazed13
Returned a glance or thought ?14
What mighty problems had it raised,15
And what solutions brought ?16
The elder first our orb discerned,17
And gazed ; and by his mien,18
When mute with ecstasy he turned,19
They knew that he had seen.20
‘ It speaks, it speaks ! ’ he cried at last,21
‘ That highly favoured sphere !22
But is,’ he said, ‘ the problem vast,23
Or the solution, here ? ’24
Then in exultant, anxious awe,25
While all the throng were dumb,26
He traced the characters he saw,27
The sign ‘ Linoleum.’28
Tears rose in eyes unused to weep,29
The portent as they scanned.30
All felt some meaning dread and deep,31
But did not understand.32
They said : ‘ Strange undulations roll33
Of cosmic woe and bliss.34
New darkness dawns upon the soul35
From gloomy galaxies.’36
Then, altering the field of view37
A trifle ere he gazed,38
The next astronomer looked through,39
And started back amazed.40
‘ A new solution I discern,’41
He cried. ‘ The old must go.’42
Slowly he copied in his turn43
The sign ‘ Sapolio.’44
No further they could contemplate ;45
A meteor—alas,46
That it arrived a little late !—47
Shattered the mighty glass.48
But trouble gathered in the stars,49
Confusion, doubt, and dread,50
And from the tranquil realm of Mars51
Tranquillity had fled.52
And some professed to know, and some53
Professed they did not know ;54
And some maintained Linoleum,55
And some Sapolio.56
But ere the whole discussion passed,57
Each zealous faction wrote58
Its watchword, graved in letters vast,59
For other orbs to note.60
And future spheres will sure behold,61
When pondering on the stars,62
Two signs imprinted on the cold,63
Dejected sphere of Mars.64
The strife of cycles long ago65
Will be no longer dumb.66
Some will maintain Sapolio,67
And some Linoleum.68